Wrong: Teen Pranksters Pretend to Be College Recruiters

PELHAM, AL — In what local authorities are calling “morally questionable but logistically impressive,” a couple of high school pranksters posing as college baseball recruiters have successfully duped several perfectly average varsity players into believing they were being scouted by major programs.

Using a fake Gmail address and a suspiciously confident tone, the pranksters—reportedly juniors with study hall and too much time—called multiple players, claiming to represent schools like “Northwestern Southeastern State” and “Texas Tech-Panhandle Campus.”

“They said I had elite hands and ‘power potential,’” said Chase Dunbar, a Pelham High senior with a .211 batting average and a strong suspicion he peaked in 8th grade. “I was halfway through ordering custom ‘Future Gamecock’ merch before my dad Googled the coach’s name and realized he runs a vape shop in Talladega.”

The pranksters used terms like “high ceiling,” “next-level projectability,” and “plus-plus speed” in their calls—causing multiple kids to start posting cryptic Instagram stories with eyeball emojis and phrases like “big things coming.”

“They knew all the right buzzwords,” said one duped catcher. “They told me I had SEC-level velo instincts. I didn’t even know what that meant, but I believed it. I wanted to believe it.”

Reports say that Dunbar’s parents, believing the call to be legitimate, fell on their knees and began weeping with joy in the kitchen.

As of press time, the 11th-grade menace ring leader commented, “We just wanted to see how far they’d take it,” as he flashed a zero-remorse-grin.