Man rocking mullet since 1984, sees kid with mullet, cries out, “There is hope for the world!”

SAMSON, AL  Earl Skinner just happened to go for a walk the other day in his cut-off blue jeans and Motley Crue ’87 Tour shirt. As he tucked his stringy hair under his old, faded camo hat, he wandered upon a familiar-looking flow of locks playing on his town’s rec league baseball field.

Reports say that Earl had been down about the direction of the world, stating, “We got weirdos doing weird thangs everywhere… men wearing dresses and women peeing standing up. I can’t even stomach a Bud Lite no more.”

Earl had reportedly pulled in the parking lot in a Trans-Am, blaring Scorpions. He polished off a honey bun, took a swig of Mello Yello, and lit up a Marlboro Red. After taking a deep inhale, a nihilistic puff of smoke exited his nostrils and careened around his twelve-day untouched mustache until finally disappearing into the air, similar to his dreams of being the next Eddie Van Halen. 

That’s when he walked casually and aimlessly toward the baseball field, mumbling to himself the lyrics from Hank Jr.’s Dinosaur.  “And just when I was sinking to an all-time low, thinking this whole world has gone crazy, I saw it, in all it’s glory—a kid with a mullet.  I couldn’t believe my eyes at first. It was as if the mullet was staring right at me, looking into me, telling me everything was going to be a’ight.”

Witnesses say Earl put down his cigarette, crushed it out with one pivot of his foot, and gave a hearty exhale almost as if to say, “We’re so back.”

Reports say that Earl walked back to his Trans-Am, clinched his fist, and held it up in the air like he was in the closing scene in The Breakfast Club