“Just Have Fun!” Yells Dad Who Shows No Indication He’s Having Fun

TRUSSVILLE, AL — In a powerful display of emotional contradiction, local dad Greg Wilburn was overheard shouting, “JUST HAVE FUN!” at his 8-year-old son from the first base coach’s box—despite clearly radiating the energy of a man in the fourth circle of baseball-parent purgatory.

Witnesses at the Trussville Turf Wars tournament described Greg as “visibly distressed,” “internally unraveling,” and “one questionable call away from ripping a hernia.” Despite this, his vocal encouragement was pepperBed with classic hits like, “Relax! Follow through!” and “Get your elbow up!”

“He says it every game,” said son, Jaxson, after going 0-for-3 with a dropped pop fly. “But then he paces, breathes weird, and talks to himself for innings at a time.

Greg’s wife, Stephanie, was seen gently guiding him back to the cooler after his third rant about “lack of situational awareness.” When asked if her husband was, in fact, enjoying himself, she replied, “He keeps saying he is. Usually through gritted teeth.”

As of press time, Greg was seen vomiting up bile from nervousness when his son was at the plate with a 3-2 count and the bases loaded.