Coach Caught ‘Visibly Vibing’ to Van Halen

VESTAVIA, AL — In a scene straight out of a suburban fever dream, Coach Dave Thompson brought the heat—and the hairspray—during a tense moment at yesterday’s 10U showdown at Liberty Park.

It all started when Vestavia Vipers’ stud Owen got a shot to the gap and drove in two runs to put the Vipers ahead by one.  As the Vipers hit the field for the next inning, it was clear Coach Dave was already juiced—but when Lauren, the walk-up speaker mom, blasted Van Halen’s banger “Panama” from her JBL, he could no longer contain himself. 

“I’m not sure what came over me, but after that monster inning, I was just feeling it,” said coach Dave. Decked in a sweat-soaked hat and wraparound Oakleys, Thompson was spotted shredding imaginary riffs and hollering “Pa-na-ma!” Players and umps alike stood mesmerized when he pulled off a David Lee Roth high kick. “He was getting after it,” said stunned parent Lisa Jenkins. “The kids were supposed to be warming up, but Dave was out there living his MTV fantasy.”

Suddenly, the vibe crashed when he caught the bleachers’ collective stare. Red-faced, Thompson tried to play it off, yelling, “Good song!” as he pointed to the speaker. “Just hyping the boys up, y’know!” he said while awkwardly adjusting his hat and pretending to check the lineup sheet.

Despite the theatrics, the Vipers fell 12-4.  Witnesses say Thompson dialed up Skid Row on Spotify before he left the parking lot.